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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Elephant Jokes


My friend Cindy sent me a lovely video of elephants interupting a Safari for a mud bath and the troubles a baby elephant had extracting itself from that mudbath - it was hilarious! 


(Go to http://www.youtube.com/embed/f_gBWPs4r3U if you want to view it).


Any-Hoo-Dee-Doo-Dee it reminded me of the "Elephant Jokes" of years gone by:




Q: What did the Dallas chief of police say when the elephant walked into the police station?
A: Nothing! He didn't notice.

(The joke was told in the aftermath of the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald by Jack Ruby, who had walked into Dallas police headquarters carrying a gun)

Six blind elephants were discussing what men were like.
After arguing they decided to find one and determine what
it was like by direct experience.
The first blind elephant felt the man and declared -
“Men are flat.”
After all the blind elephants felt the man, they agreed.

Q: What do elephants have that nothing else has?
A: Baby elephants.

Q: What is gray, has four legs, and a trunk?
A: A mouse going on vacation.

Q: What is brown, has four legs, and a trunk?
A: A mouse coming back from vacation.

Q: What has eight legs, two trunks, four eyes, and two tails?
A: Two elephants.

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A: Because if it was small, white and hard it would be an aspirin.

Q: Why are golf balls small and white?
A: Because if they were big and grey they would be elephants.

Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a plum?
A: Their color.

Q: What did Tarzan say to Jane when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Here come the elephants.

Q: What did Jane say to Tarzan when she saw the elephants coming?
A: Here come the plums; she was color blind.

Q: How do you get 2,000 elephants to invade Cuba?
A: Promise them air support!

Q: How many elephants will fit into a Mini?
A: Four: Two in the front, two in the back.

Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini?
A: None. It's full of elephants.

Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.

Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your refrigerator?
A: You can't close the door.

Q: How do you know there are four elephants in your refrigerator?
A: There's an empty Mini parked outside.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Have you ever seen a yellow elephant?

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: Hold his trunk shut until he turns blue, and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a purple elephant?
A: Paint him red, hold his trunk shut until he turns blue, and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun.

Q: How can you tell that an elephant is in the bathtub with you?
A: By the smell of peanuts on its breath.

Q: How can you tell that an elephant has been in your refrigerator/ice box?
A: By the footprints in the butter/cheesecake/cream cheese.

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to build a new fence.

1 comment:

North of Wiarton & South of the Checkerboard said...

Ha ! I like quirky clean jokes. My Mom has a couple of them up her sleeve. What comes up? goes down? but never touches the ground? An umbrella !

"Just Me" xxx