Sunday, February 26, 2012

A little morning madness

The police brought me home this morning. I'm lucky, I think they were thinking of taking me up to the local hospital. Well, all I was doing was jogging down the (almost deserted) main street at 6 am in my 'jammy' T-shirt top and boxer undies, barefoot and a snotty old hankie hanging out of the elastic of my undies when the 'Paddy Wagon' bleeped its siren and flashed its blue and red lights at me to stop. Damn it!  I thought I could've made it back home without anyone of consequence (other than Max, the paper delivery guy - but he flies around the town, often on the wrong side of the road, flinging rolled up newspapers over the top of his car and approximately onto someones front lawn - or footpath). But Max rarely sees anything as he sucks on his coffee and tosses papers across the roof of the delivery van. I think Max steers on 'auto-pilot'!

Anyhoo - Officers Plod and Ploddess thought I was "looking suspicious" - Don't know why? Perhaps because I haven't shaved for three days, and Yes! I do need my morning shower, and Yes! I was barefoot, in my boxers and 'T' in the semi-dark of the early morning and Yes! I was running down the main street of town!

The snotty hankie was a dead give-away, I s'pose - that and my visible advanced years! Another escapee from the local Nursing Home or, p'raps one of John Gill's Korsakoff buddies on the loose! lol! Caught! No ID (unless I had it secreted in some bodily orifice - narh! too uncomfortable - go out without!)

It took some explaining.

Rhonda left for work around 5.50 am intending to stop at the local Servo and fill up with petrol. We were going to take her car up to "The Camp" after she gets home this evening and we had a 16 cents/litre discount from the grocery supermarket - and the Subaru needed filling. She stopped and waited for the guy to open up the Servo - her and three other early Sunday morning motorists - and she filled up , putting just over 65 litres of petrol in the car. Then she realised that she didn't have the Everyday Rewards card! Well, she was only two blocks away and she knew I was still up so she rang and asked me to bring the card up.

Damn it! The Rodeo chose this morning to have a flat battery ('cos someone, unnamed, left the ignition switched on all night, didn't they, after backing it into the carport! - didn't they!)

So! I decided to do a quick dash, card in hand,  up past the high school, along past the now disused railway station that is home to the railway museum crowd, over the street, cut through the a laneway and across the main street to the servo and deliver the card. Well, it was worth $10.50AUS discount! She laughed as she went to pay and watched me head off down the main street towards home.

That's when the law caught up with me! I had some explaining to do, didn't I and youse all know how things come out all jumbled up when sprung in a situation of compromise. Must've thought I was strark raving mad. But I eventually convinced them I just lived around the corner - right opposite the police station. They also recognised me (one of their more colourful locals on their patch, no doubt) - so they said "Hop in. We'll drop you home!" Felt like a real nong, sitting in the back seat of the cabin that had police-type gear laying everywhere.

They insisted on waiting until I was inside (through the unlocked back door) and I had to come to the front door and wave "OK" to them.

Buggers were laughing as they drove off up the road!


LindaG said...

Have to admit, John, I'm chuckling too. ;-)

John Gray said...

welcome to my world John boy!

North of Wiarton & South of the Checkerboard said...

They were laughing? I almost fell off my computer chair I have been laughing, and still am, so hard. Thank you, John, that made a perfect ending to my Week! LMAO ..... next time remember to be carrying around that "Get Out Of Jail Free" card with you, you know? just in case .... LOL

"Just Me" way over here.

JohnD said...

Go ahead - laugh! lol! All I could think of was not delaying Rhonda on her way to work so I had to get the card up there quick! Once I did that I relaxed and just strolled down the deserted main street.

JohnD said...

Prlly sumthin you do regularly ehhh! Just with more panache!

JohnD said...

Glad I made someone's day. Went back to bed and was having a nice Sunday morning sleep-in when the phone ran. It was Rhonda. She wanted to say 'Thank you' and asked if I got home OK? I told her and I thought she was goin to lay an egg, there and then on the spot! All the nurses at work wanted to know why she was laughing so much on the phone!

North of Wiarton & South of the Checkerboard said...

Well, John, I hate to tell you this, but if I could have, I am sure I would have layed an egg right beside Rhonda ! LMAO ...and just think of all the money she saved, at your expense ! LOL

Dr. Wendy said...

hahahaha!!! It's raining here this morning and gloomy. Between this and the Lemonade Stand video post, I'm chuckling and smiling! Ha! Glad you're safe back home and I'm sure you're now officially marked as the nutball of the street!!!

JohnD said...

Overcast here - but I'm smiling. Been watching the 2012 Tropfest Finalist DVD - worth searching Youtube - "Tropfest 2012".

I reckon after this morning I could make a movie about this morning's misadventure!