The police brought me home this morning. I'm lucky, I think they were thinking of taking me up to the local hospital. Well, all I was doing was jogging down the (almost deserted) main street at 6 am in my 'jammy' T-shirt top and boxer undies, barefoot and a snotty old hankie hanging out of the elastic of my undies when the 'Paddy Wagon' bleeped its siren and flashed its blue and red lights at me to stop. Damn it! I thought I could've made it back home without anyone of consequence (other than Max, the paper delivery guy - but he flies around the town, often on the wrong side of the road, flinging rolled up newspapers over the top of his car and approximately onto someones front lawn - or footpath). But Max rarely sees anything as he sucks on his coffee and tosses papers across the roof of the delivery van. I think Max steers on 'auto-pilot'!
Anyhoo - Officers Plod and Ploddess thought I was "looking suspicious" - Don't know why? Perhaps because I haven't shaved for three days, and Yes! I do need my morning shower, and Yes! I was barefoot, in my boxers and 'T' in the semi-dark of the early morning and Yes! I was running down the main street of town!
The snotty hankie was a dead give-away, I s'pose - that and my visible advanced years! Another escapee from the local Nursing Home or, p'raps one of John Gill's Korsakoff buddies on the loose! lol! Caught! No ID (unless I had it secreted in some bodily orifice - narh! too uncomfortable - go out without!)
It took some explaining.
Rhonda left for work around 5.50 am intending to stop at the local Servo and fill up with petrol. We were going to take her car up to "The Camp" after she gets home this evening and we had a 16 cents/litre discount from the grocery supermarket - and the Subaru needed filling. She stopped and waited for the guy to open up the Servo - her and three other early Sunday morning motorists - and she filled up , putting just over 65 litres of petrol in the car. Then she realised that she didn't have the Everyday Rewards card! Well, she was only two blocks away and she knew I was still up so she rang and asked me to bring the card up.
Damn it! The Rodeo chose this morning to have a flat battery ('cos someone, unnamed, left the ignition switched on all night, didn't they, after backing it into the carport! - didn't they!)
So! I decided to do a quick dash, card in hand, up past the high school, along past the now disused railway station that is home to the railway museum crowd, over the street, cut through the a laneway and across the main street to the servo and deliver the card. Well, it was worth $10.50AUS discount! She laughed as she went to pay and watched me head off down the main street towards home.
That's when the law caught up with me! I had some explaining to do, didn't I and youse all know how things come out all jumbled up when sprung in a situation of compromise. Must've thought I was strark raving mad. But I eventually convinced them I just lived around the corner - right opposite the police station. They also recognised me (one of their more colourful locals on their patch, no doubt) - so they said "Hop in. We'll drop you home!" Felt like a real nong, sitting in the back seat of the cabin that had police-type gear laying everywhere.
They insisted on waiting until I was inside (through the unlocked back door) and I had to come to the front door and wave "OK" to them.
Buggers were laughing as they drove off up the road!